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22nd December – CSH3 – Byte My Yahoo

Posted on December 24, 2012 by admin| Leave a comment
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Rating: 9.3/10 (3 votes cast)

Christmas is coming and Byte My Yahoo was in a festive mood. Two minibuses full of hashers turned up at the Agricultural Centre to find Santa Claus, and the grinch (played by Frozen Dick) in full costume with powder and a sack of presents! During the hare brief we discovered that there would be presents at circle checks and that we should ingest, wear or solve them before moving on.

We set off, with Belly Dancer racing so fast that he made the first circle check! He unwrapped the present to discover sweets which he wasn’t going to share until Unplugged made him. We all know he’s on the naughty list this year! At the next circle check Mr Poo went the right way immediately but the paper was so far away he’d given up and was just wandering aimlessly when he found it. We carried on through the central field, to the left, round the wall and through the buildings. Angry Inch got a free dress, which he refused to wear! Luckily His Royal Anus had a better sense of humour and proudly FRBed the rest of the run in sartorial splendour.

The next great present was the beer stop. Skidmark stopped all the racist bastards who attempted to race off (notably Square Router and Snail Trail) until we’d finished the beer – and then we proceeded to fail to find the trail. By the time we found it going through the orchard even Pamela had caught up, with Slippery when Wet and several other walkers.

Across the dam, through the barbed wire and along through the white gate, up through the same small path, U-turn and back to 3 metres away from the entrance, same as for the last ag centre live hare and then back to the main lake. At this point Byte My Yahoo was waiting for the pack to spot him, waving at them and with several presents, including a wooden puzzle which would have to be solved before the pack moved on.

Sadly the half-minds completely failed to notice him and wandered straight in after the lake, beating the live hare to the circle! :) BMY wandered in, bemused, a while later to witness the finger pointing by Horny Monkey and others, though most agreed it was all Dead Virgin’s fault. In typical hash fashion we then went on to give him the wings and have the most disorganised gift exchange ever. Excellent hash behaviour and a Merry Hashmas to all! :)

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16th December – CH4 – Square Rooter

Posted on December 16, 2012 by admin| Leave a comment
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Rating: 7.5/10 (2 votes cast)

Minimal effort – excellent hash!

I showed up a bit early, as Huay Tung Thao is close to the kids house, and when I showed up, Square Rooter was sat under a tree supping a Leo. Spotting the opportunity I asked if the run was “kid-friendly” suggesting I might take the little ones out, which he said would be fine. That ruled out the mountain – excellent! 😉

My ribs still hurt, but what the hell I jogged off following None of Your Business down to the familiar trail at the bottom of the hills. Angry Inch, rather than checking at the first circle, did some Red Indian bullshit, sniffing the dirt, listening for the ancient echo of horses, stood up and ran off in the opposite direction. I followed None of Your Business and didn’t see Angry Inch again.

With several checks being straight on, finally we hit the check to the left and across the rice fields. Lucky me, and at the circle in the middle of the fields, it was surely over the little bridge. I’d not seen any powder on the way in, so it had to be into the running track area – turning right into the construction yard would be too far – it was too early to be going left so the obvious choice was the 2nd trail down the hill. 2 more checks and I was on a roll finally shaking Dead Virgin from behind me.

Then there was a great check! Jogging on the usual trail, after 100m there was no powder. Damnit – surely there was no other option at this point? I’ve scouted the shit out of that area, regularly running there, I’m pretty sure I know all the trails. Just then a couple of mountain bikes whizzed past about 20m to my left. Bugger me! There’s a new mountain bike trail, and bugger me again, there’s powder on it! Sweet. On On So Long…

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15th December – CSH3 – Belly Dancer / Big Top / Frozen Dick / Skid Mark – RUN 1,111

Posted on December 16, 2012 by admin| Leave a comment
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Rating: 6.3/10 (3 votes cast)

The day had finally come, and it was time to head out to the biggest hash of the year – the biggest hash in a couple of years since the 1,000 run. I wasn’t feeling too well on account of Human Excrement, but managed to scramble my way out to the runsite a bit early to make sure everything was in order. There was a pervasive nervous tension around, or was that just my dodgy stomach? My ribs were hurting and I wasn’t sure I was up for the 11 grueling KM the hares had put together.

The first beer stop was immediate – great way to start, except that it was Chang, and I immediately wanted to vomit! Then it was chasing Frozen Dick’s live haring – with 11 minutes headstart of course! The crowd of around 90 set off and just around the corner had our 2nd beer stop. Across the carpark was the 3rd beer stop with a 4th on the reservoir wall. Time for a group photo and for the pack to split between the ‘long run’ and the ‘short run’.

The hares had given me some inside information about the start of the long run, so I had little choice but to take that option, and led the way towards the ‘zoo’. We’d been told something about just follow the trail and just through the gate there would be a circle check. Well we went through a gate and spread out looking for trail. Sadly you can rely on hashers fucking things up, and the gate was somewhere else. Plenty of time eaten up already and we hadn’t even found the trail.

When we found the circle, it was a tricky one, and took another 10 minutes or so before Dead Virgin picked up the scent and we were off. The circles were pretty small (quarter A4), and we missed the 2nd circle check, but eventually found the trail further on. My ribs were killing me – I really shouldn’t have been running, and promptly collapsed vomiting on the trail, which didn’t help at all.

OnOn, and the pack was brought back with some skiddy sticks. Anal Birth found the trail off to the right and gave the least inspiring call in history. The checks had been screwing with us, and at one point we’d done 3km in an hour. This was going to be a long 11km. Finally we emerged and saw Frozen and Skiddy checking on our slow progress. Another regroup, and by now my ribs were just a dull constant agony, so I had a bit of a run with Alice past another reservoir. Great running trails all over the place, and the pace picked up. We took a sharp turn up some steps and found a circle. As I checked straight on all of a sudden I heard Graven calling confidently to the right and Alice calling confidently to the left. There were OnOns all around me and in my confused state I had no idea where to go, so I kept on forwards and finally intercepted the trail on top of a ridge. Alice came running up to me, and we jogged on together with a large part of the pack having missed out the whole mountain part of the run.

I had very little idea where we were, but the checks had been kicked out so I just kept jogging along until we bumped into Screwed Up complete with beer for another beer stop. He had no idea what was going on and nor did Chilly Pussy just around the corner. Finally we saw Big Top holding a sign on the other side of a little lake, begging us to swim across to her – it was a short cut! I gave Mr. Poo my watch and jumped in leaving Poo and Alice to jog off the long way around the lake. We were definitely not a pack any more, but Suckit appeared as I was climbing out and duly jumped in for a swim. Dead Virgin took the swim option too.

Along the road a bit and we found Angry Inch running towards us, eventually figuring out where we were and found trail leading into the last 4 beer checks. I think I missed a beer check, and some how passed the other long run runners. Oh well, I’d done enough and had to get the circle started while the remaining runners made it back in fits and starts – Semen Soars being the last man in as the circle closed, and Cumalot strolling along with her headphones.

OnOnOn to the river market for some excellent food and some more post run analysis. Thanks to all who put in so much effort – and thank goodness it’s over! 😉

My GPS track has gained a bit of distance as I forgot to switch it off…

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9th December – CH4 – Snail Trail

Posted on December 10, 2012 by admin| Leave a comment
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Rating: 7.3/10 (4 votes cast)

Snail Trail was the hare, but when the run directions appeared it was clear she didn’t have much to do with it! The runsite was the same as Skiddy’s recent male hash and after hearing complaints from those who crawled through his tunnel of love the first time he decided to send us through it twice this time.

Everyone was early – except Big Top and Dogshit who had gone to the restaurant rather than to the runsite! After standing around for a bit, we set off and I led the way through the tunnel crawl. With Kwazi behind I was able to check in 2 directions before anyone else emerged from the tunnel. Sadly they were the wrong directions and not for the last time I was running around in circles and overtaking Doggie as Robin Banks led the pack. Sure enough we were heading the reverse as the previous run, but most times rather than going right and left, we’d go left and right, if that makes sense. Check out the map, I was all over the place.

Finally we locked in on the old trail, and wary for Skiddy sticks I was looking down the side trails. I spied some paper off to the right – Damn! it was old paper from Sups’ run. But it had to be coming up soon – sure enough at the next junction, I turned right and was on the true trail. Unplugged and Mr. Poo didn’t want to trust me, so they followed Humperdick to the skiddy sticks. Ha! I was locked in following the previous trail back to the rice fields, across the rice fields.

Then I remembered a little scramble trail that Skiddy had used before – surely he’d do it again? Damn it! I got torn up and was stuck in the middle of nowhere when half the pack overtook calling on on from the road nearby, with no easy way of me getting back. Back through the tunnel and beer time. Lots of excellent checks and another good set.

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8th December – CSH3 – Miss Piggy

Posted on December 8, 2012 by admin| Leave a comment
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Rating: 5.5/10 (2 votes cast)

Miss Piggy stepped up and volunteered to set the run, recruiting Wooly Jumper as her co-hare. When they announced well in advance it would be at the TV station on Suthep road, we knew there would be some climbing involved… Still a good number showed up and set off.

We ran along a road that’s been used as an On-In more often than an On-Out, and some guy called Ferret came jogging up next to me as though I was sprinting on a treadmill and he was stood chatting next to me. An experienced hasher from out of town decided to circle watch at the first check while I checked the obvious trail. Quickly we turned up the hill, and from the way we scrambled up the side of the hill with a trail I knew of just along side I should have suspected we would be back down again… Foolishly I got the 2nd (of 3) checks wrong, going higher than necessary and was playing catch up down the hill again.

With only one more check to go, it was Sloppy Rod that was testing his mettle against the Ferret, Dead Virgin and I just following in their wake, while Dick Tracy led countless shortcutters to cross paths in front of us. The trail was a short cutters delight!

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1st December – CSH3 – Chilly Pussy

Posted on December 2, 2012 by admin| Leave a comment
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Whoa! Who set that run? I know Chilly Pussy was the hare, and she engaged Anything as her co-hare, and they took Barbin Doll along for the experience, and somehow they managed to pull that off! Some excellent running trails, some clever checks, plenty more runnable sections, the odd bit of shiggy scramble. I think Humperdick summed it up best when he came in and said ‘very good run…. for a male hash’. It was excellent, but with quite a few coming in in the dark, perhaps a little much?

We set off and had a steep descent to a predictable first circle check. So predictable that Belly Dancer, (perhaps with the nepotistic aid of GPS), started calling “On On” without bothering to wait for paper. I was doing well, getting the checks right, until one circle. I chased over to where Poo was, and luckily found him climbing up a steep hill on the false trail of a V check. Ha! Not the last false trail he would find today. The hares had cunningly cut along the side of the hill only to go back up the same hill just around the corner – poor poo.

Then was the circle that had us foxed. Finally None of Your Business found the trail which was close to the circle on an obvious trail. No idea why it took us so long to find it, but by the time I had scrambled back up the hill I was behind Square Rooter and Horny Monkey. I enjoyed the steep descent swinging between the trees and finally caught Poo and None of your Business as we got into the creek valley. None of Your Business thought he might be almost home, and he might “win”, so he sprinted off, only to find quite a lot more to do.

Another V cost Poo dearly and finally we emerged from the jungle. Perhaps the hares were lost at this point as we scrambled up and down, round and around, along the edge of the jungle back to the A. On the whole it was a great run, just what I look for in hashes. Good job Chilly & Anything! You can call this “some eulogistic tosh” if you like – I guess it can hurt one’s feelings if someone’s wife sets a much better run than they can!

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28th November – CH3 – Frozen Dick

Posted on November 29, 2012 by admin| Leave a comment
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Rating: 6.0/10 (1 vote cast)

Frozen Dick teamed up with HRA to set this year’s Loi Kateoy run – starting from an obscure carpark along a dodgy backstreet – probably appropriate as the street has a reputation for ladyboys, and happens to be where Mr. Poo, Frozen Dick & HRA live. Coincidence? Unlikely…

From there we took in the hash pub before heading along some quiet backstreets to Riva bar. We briefly past through the parade, but took care to hide in the shadowy backstreets in our unusual garb. From Riva it was to Eurodiner and then Next Place, before back to the hidden carpark via Loi Kroh road.




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25th November – CH4 – Byte My Yahoo

Posted on November 28, 2012 by admin| Leave a comment
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Rating: 10.0/10 (1 vote cast)

We all got word of Itchy Bitchy’s poor dead dog just before the CSH3 run on Saturday. CH4 committee members Mr. Poo and Byte My Yahoo pondered worrisomely throughout the night trying to decide the best course of action. Yahoo decided that he was up for the challenge of setting a non-scouted run in an area that he always gets lost in. When I pulled up to the A site, I was happy to see that he had returned alive and in post-shower bliss though slightly disappointed that he HAD remembered to bring his towel (unlike yesterday). That wasn’t the first bent over bum I’d be seeing that day, but it was perhaps the finest. 😉

With the Lanna Bush Fang and Bunny Pai outstations taking place over the weekend, we weren’t really sure who would be running. Fortunately, Anything, Unplugged and Frozen Dick had all made it back. We could all see where the paper trail began early on, and so Frozen Dick set off immediately without waiting to listen to the full hare brief – racing bastard! The first circle check was slightly confusing as no one was really sure who was supposed to do the checking. BmY had set the run, Chuck Wao had such a terrible hangover that he couldn’t even make it to the run and Mr. Poo was looking rather slow and haggard – possibly due to the unusual adventure of him staying at the Hash Pub past midnight. No, he didn’t turn into a pumpkin, just a tired old man more like his own age. :)

Having not scouted the run beforehand, it was clear that BmY was getting us as lost at his checks as he was when he was setting it. Hashers dispersed in all directions led mostly by FRB bunnies Anything, Beautiful Box, Crazy Crack, Can’t Stop Cumming and Cock Climber. Finally, we found the ‘On’ some couple hundred of meters away with Grumbledick pondering BmY’s ‘mistake’. Having done a similar scouting / setting at the same time run last week, I knew there were more of these kinds of checks to cum.

There were quite a few, in fact, in which some hashers waited for nearly 5 minutes (mostly bent over picking grass needles out of their shoes) at the check due to numerous hidden trails and everyone unsure of who was up ahead checking already. At one particular circle check Beautiful Box, followed by a deeply entranced Human Excrement, passed straight through a blatant False Trail AND Checkback bar – maybe they wanted to spend some time in the woods alone together? Luckily, I saw it and we all headed back to a call from Anything who then passed right through a V-check. Though I was fairly certain that she had gone the correct way, I checked to my right anyhow, closely followed by Mr. Poo, down what was of course the wrong trail – darn it – and then was off to try and catch up to Anything once again.

At another circle check, hashers trampled deep into the bush failing to think about the 360 degrees scenario. Though I’m not sure who found the ‘On’, it was Frozen Dick that bellowed out to bring back together hashers checking every which way but the right one. A very narrow barbed wire fence slowed everyone down except for Crazy Crack who leaped through with perfect precision. Frozen Dick had to be dragged underneath by about half a dozen hashers and was slightly peeved to discover from the hare later that there had been a more accessible gateway about 20 meters or so away. EVIL hare!

Frozen Dick’s GPS came in handy when he gave it a look at the last check before the main road. “That way!” he stated with certainty giving both of us the FRB advantage. But, someone was already in front of us and had kicked out the circle checks heading straight back to the A. I could see Mr. Poo and Crazy Crack up ahead jogging around each other in circles in what I presumed was a False Trail and so was happy to spot them just as I was passing a nice trail heading left. Humperdick was cutting across to meet me though failed to inform anyone of the False Trail making him a newly inducted member of the CUNT family.

As we headed up a slight incline to the On-In, I could hear Cock Climber and Can’t Stop Cumming behind me complaining of how slow they had been running all day. Perhaps a little too much Spider Peeing for both of them? We’re all still trying to figure out what that is exactly – definitely a splash to remember for next week! It was a fun run followed by a fun circle though slightly delayed due to the antics of Ravenous, Codpiece and Tip Toe! Some of us DID wonder how they would make it through that barbed wire – a moot point as they somehow ended up at the Canal Road!!! After the circle, we headed to the OnOnOn to celebrate Bar Bin Doll’s birthday!!!

On-On

Big Top

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24th November – CSH3 – Sticky Wicket

Posted on November 25, 2012 by admin| Leave a comment
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Sticky Wicket chose Horny Monkey to be his co-hare, and Horny Monkey chose the Sala Klang area. Horny called me earlier in the week to say it was a kid friendly run, and Sloppy and I decided to bring the kids along and take them out on the run. I’m not sure what he was thinking, perhaps he used to take his kids out to play on the streets around learner drivers?

Anyway, we set off with the boys happily chasing after Big Top and Chucky. Big Top went wrong at the first check, and CW went wrong at the 2nd. The girl with dreadlocks from Austria refused to show us her boobies at the boobie check. We ran around in circles around the buildings, with some clever checks that brought us back on ourselves.

With Sticky and Horny lurking on Horny’s bike a couple of checks were given away by just heading towards where they were waiting. As we past a gate, the bike was there, and sure enough the true trail went through the gate with a false trail on the main road. Matty and Danny kept getting everything right.

Semen Soars, aka Great Balls of Fire, back from his self immolation experience, lead the pack on a great short cut that left CW, Mr. Poo and Big Top as the only ones who did the true trail. Either way Dick Tracy hit the front, yes read it again, moments before the OnIn Dick Tracy was running across the field with Chuck Wao chasing after him. Admittedly he’d already scaled a fence and ducked through a number of short cuts, but DT was the FRB. Fortunately reality resumed itself and CW was first to the OnIn.

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19th November – CH3 – Skid Mark

Posted on November 20, 2012 by admin| Leave a comment
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In honour of Superman’s 600th run, Skiddy set the trail close by Sup’s office and spent a good while explaining to the Songthaew driver how to get there. Nonetheless we set off on time, and jogged along past some dogs to the first check, which most of immediately got wrong as we chose not to check through someone’s garden. Anyway, it wouldn’t be the last time I screwed up and seemed to spend most of my time coming back from checking in the wrong places. One of my bad checks left me so far off trail that most of the hashers thought I’d short cut. Nope I was just a long way behind for a long time. When I overtook Frozen he asked where I’d come from. I gradually picked off Tip Toe, Superman, Sticky Wicket, Slippery When Wet, and eventually got to the back of the FRBs as they looked after the Skiddy Sticks.

I turned back and quickly picked up the paper going back in the opposite direction. I hit the front of the pack and my luck changed as I ran through the next few checks with voices getting fainter behind me. The last circle caught me out though and I spent some time checking along the road before cutting into the field. I could hear Skiddy roaring with laughter in that direction, so I knew I must be close. Turns out I found the beer before the On-In, but went back to guide the pack through a tiny tunnel.

Just about all my legs wanted after 3 days consecutive hashing. Shame about the circle! 😉

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