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16th Feb – CSH3 – Bone Collector

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Rating: 7.0/10 (1 vote cast)

I showed up a little early at the Bone Residence and found the hare – she assured me she knew nothing about the run, because she’d been doing the food instead! Clearly Bone Hur was going to be the guilty party if it wasn’t a good run. In the hare brief he talked about toilet paper and pointed us out the back gate.

I set off and along the road we ran into a check back. Back to the cross check and again my next choice was a check back. Sloppy had enough even then and took off for a private run into the hills. The true trail had us on a little loop back around to the road and our usual route to the hills. With few checks the pack split up following Semen Sores for a while and then when we headed up into the hills behind the temple Chuck Wao took over.

I lost sight of the leaders as we cut across the hill and back down. A glimpse of Horny Monkey at the road as I ran past the quarry and what appeared to be a cock fight or muay thai. A circle check that nobody had kicked out, but it had to be left so I took off and finally heard some calls off to the right. I made my way around the road and intercepted the FRBs “checking”? or were they just off paper? no idea, but it kept happening as the hare took random abrupt turns.

Eventually I spotted the hare hiding in some bushes, and headed towards him. i enjoyed Chuckie’s grim face as he jogged in a few moments after me. The pack was split up massively due to the fast pace and paucity of checks which gave us good time for a dip in the pool before the circle.

11th Feb – CH3 – Humperdick

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Rating: 7.5/10 (2 votes cast)

Exhaustion… 2 brutal runs by Skiddy, (inspired by Belly & Square Rooter), over the weekend coupled with an epic afternoon drinking session (inspired by Gascoigne & Big Top) had me feeling worse for wear over my coffee this morning. Nonetheless I made it to work, and my hangover had the common decency to kick in right about the time my class was due to start. Bugger – there could only be one cure for it, so I set off to the hash.

Humperdick Humperdick Humperdick – couldn’t be too bad right? He hasn’t really built a reputation for runs (yet). I mean – apart from them being on canal road. I’m not entirely sure what his style is, but he does put in effort, so I was hopeful he’d be kind and gentle….

We were pointed off and Belly Dancer did his usual olympic sprinter start. My brain told my legs to run, and my legs told my brain to fuck off. This wasn’t going to be pleasant. At the first check Belly went off to the right, and I found the paper straight on. Normally at this point it’s the end of Belly’s charge and we meet him back at the circle for a beer, but not today. Today he’d roided up and was on a mission. He stormed ahead while I fucked up at the first Skiddy check. He was 100m ahead of everyone till he came to a small decline that was about 3 steps down, and by the time he’d crossed it, he was 100m behind. Seriously? Even Horny Monkey passed him!

Into the hills we went and there was a part that confused everyone. Horny Monkey did one route, while Angry Inch, Graven and I did another – neither was right, and when the EVIL MOFO HARE described later what he actually wanted us to do, I was glad about the ‘compromise’ we’d come to. Compromise? Short Cut? Who cares?

The trail started climbing… Who am I kidding? There was no fucking trail… We scrambled over shiggy crap with leaves covering rocks tripping our way over the hill – a familiar trail – I didn’t enjoy it the first time we’d done it… Finally we got out to the guys yard, and he proudly pointed out the paper on his bushes… We meet random people out on trail, but it’s nice when they are happy for us to run through their gardens! I sprinted past GI & AI, and immediately regretted it, taking the wrong option at the gate.

Damn… I tried to run… but my legs resisted… It took some determined self restraint to set off following the paper rather than just shortcutting back to the beer, but I managed. Hardly any more checks, just another 3km or so around and back to the A. At least this bit was flat. I finally got back some 10 minutes or so after the FRBs, but it was a long time before Frozen Dick dragged in the stragglers; Slippery When Wet, Fishy Fingers and Tip Toe.

Sups had thought better of the whole affair and done a “Festering Tool”.

10th Feb – CH4 – Skid Mark

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Rating: 8.0/10 (2 votes cast)

Time for the big day, and the hash wedding event of the year. The bride and groom were dressed up with Just Married T-shirts dangling cans behind them – nice touch! Eventually, once Skiddy had had a shower, we bundled into the 2 songthaews and set off to the A, a couple of km away from the resort. When the songthaew failed to make it up the hill we jumped out and ran off in the way Skiddy was pointing – “Just follow the road till you see paper”…

Obediently Chucky and I ran on following the road, and didn’t see any paper. Sadly I didn’t switch the GPS on until we’d been going for 10 minutes or so. After Gorf had laid down the challenge by running past CW uphill, he took off blazing a trail into the distance. I followed with the rest of the pack getting increasingly reluctant. After around 3km there was still no sign of the trail, and I finally gave up and turned back, to eventually see Skiddy coming to rescue us. He brought Chuckie back and pointed the 2 of us off on a short cut. This time we found paper and amazingly we also came up to the back markers, gradually picking our way through the pack.

The trail was great – gently down hill most of the way and great for running on. Finally I heard the call of “Checking” from up ahead, and we’d managed to rejoin the FRBs – just in time to climb the hill to the resort. The day continued with a brief circle and then some time to recover / get dressed up ready for the hash wedding.

Congrats to Poo & Knockout, wishing you all the best!

9th Feb – CSH3 – Big Top

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Rating: 7.7/10 (3 votes cast)

Big Top was the hare for the valentines themed run and with plenty of hashers staying over at the Insda resort for the hash wedding, setting the run from there seemed like a good idea…. It seemed like a good idea right up to the point when I parked the car and saw that there were only mountains around the resort. Ugh, it was going to be a climbing run.

The bus(es) arrived and we figured we could have a hare brief and set off with Angry Inch chasing me along the trail which abruptly turned up and so began the first ascent. God damnit I hate hills. We finally hit a flat trail part way up the mountain with a check – I picked right, which wasn’t right as right was actually left so quickly found myself behind a pack scrambling along the narrow trail.

The trail turned into a huge clearing with steep cliffs all around. Amid confusion, we spent a while searching for the inevitable skiddy sticks. It was Shagless that eventually rescued us and we headed back towards the resort. At the next check I screwed the run up (a bit) calling On the wrong trail. Everybody was together, and I tried to lead them back while Pamela was explaining to Eat my Tofu what idiots the FRBs were.

Steep down the side of the cliff I took off with Shagless, only to be completely alone for a while. Graven caught up and we jogged along together for a while until we found some checks already kicked out. It seems the pack had found a short cut and were already tucking into beers at the A. Looking at the map, it seems the trails were close to each other, but that doesn’t explain why HRA led a group along the road and in the front entrance of the resort!

3rd January – CH4 – His Royal Anus

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Rating: 8.0/10 (3 votes cast)

HRA teamed up with Crazy Crack and Ravenous to set a run out towards the Tiger Camp. He likes that area, and this time had found a new A-Bucket. He looked proud of himself as he pointed out the luvly shelter he’d found with a luvly bridge next to it. Turns out he had got lost and used this location by default! Crazy Crack guarded the shelter warning us to duck to get in – except for Frozen who collapsed to the ground with a thud.

On Out, and Angry Inch led the way through a rice field and he was away getting the first few checks spot on. I figured the golf course was nearby and wasn’t surprised when we ended up on the canal trail that cuts through the golf course. A check at the end brought the pack back together while we found our way out onto the road. When we hit the road, I figured we had to loop left or right, and with 15 holes on the right and only 3 holes to the left, left seemed the logical choice, and sure enough Graven and I found trail.

Shortly after we found skiddy sticks but I was having a purple patch hitting everything right. UNTIL we got to another road and a V check. What kind of a dumbass checks right? Up the hill in the wrong direction along the fence of a farm that I knew was enormous and impossible to get through? Chuckie and Sloppy Rod got a jump on the rest of us as bizarrely lots of others came following me.

Sloppy was on good form and nailed the last check, before a long run along the mud road and back in on the out trail. A pleasant run in a new area – good work hares!

2nd January – CSH3 – Byte My Yahoo

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Rating: 10.0/10 (1 vote cast)

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27th January – CH4 – Anything & Throbbing Ninja

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Rating: 8.0/10 (2 votes cast)

Anything & Throbbing Ninja teaming up to set the run…. Run that past me again? Throbbing Ninja has a historic reputation for welcoming a group of visitors from overseas by setting one of the biggest hill climbs in hash history (recently surpassed by the ball breaker, but epic nonetheless). Anything has set some good runs, but you can be sure they will always be a tough test. I was worried!

We set off onto the road and back on a familiar trail through the field. Angry Inch was on my heels, and immediately my calf started tightening up. I just hoped I’d run it off and it did seem to ease off, but my legs were definitely feeling the effects of Frozen’s run the day before.

The pack was kept together as we searched for paper with the hares laying trail on the left, and then the right, and then the left, and then hiding it in trees (so it wouldn’t get burnt?). The road took us up and we finally got to a check. Angry Inch must be obsessed with my ass, and he followed me around the corner as Chuckie spluttered. It was HRA tho that checked the other way and when I turned back at the check back, sure enough CW was also behind me!

The next opportunity took us up into the hills and most of the run was on the great trails up in the mountains. Our visitor from Florida couldn’t stop smiling – he’d loved it! As we came down the hill there was a breakaway of Mr Poo, Angry Inch and now named (Cheap) Hole Hunter being chased down by HRA, myself, Chuck Wao and Graven Image. There were some excellent places for checks, but no checks as we back and forth up and down at the edge of the hills. Finally we hit the trail at the bottom and it was home free. I slowed to a walk and was gradually passed by Skiddy, Unplugged, Human Ex, while Crazy Crack & None of Your Business were close behind. Actually a great run that was a little much for me, with my only criticism being not enough checks at certain points!

Back in time for the circle….. Yikes!

26th January – CSH3 – Frozen Dick

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Rating: 8.0/10 (1 vote cast)

Frozen Dick has a unique way of advertising his runs and one way or another… This time he chose “my” area past Doi Saket, and through various conversations over the week he’d mentioned “blue spirit houses” and a couple of other unique landmarks that gave me a damn good idea of the general route of the run – having set a bunch of runs there and previously scouting all the trails (and non-trails) around there, I was confident I knew all the permutations…

We set off with Angry Inch on my tail – literally – he followed me through the first couple of checks until I guessed one wrong – there were 2 main ways to get up onto the mountain, and the hare chose the other one. No matter, we headed back to the road and Angry Inch was lost soon at a check when he went through barbed wire to a trail to nowhere. Shortly further on the other trail into the mountain was on the right, but the trail continued down the road – hmmm… Go for it boys, I turned to Chuckie and we swiftly avoided a false trail and set off up to the hill.

There was a circle check and CW trusted me when I told him it was up the hill to a parallel trail – sure enough we got to powder, and then a circle. This time he didn’t trust me, and while I checked left, he went back to the right. I called “On” but didn’t see him again. I jogged along, simply enjoying running the trails that I’d set as a hare before, but never run. I found the hare’s knife, and spent the rest of the run with it open as I couldn’t figure out how to close it.

Around the ridge we came to the spirit house and down to the creek bed. The circle check there is ingenious – if you don’t know about the trail that runs just a bit further along the creek. Sadly for FD I knew where we were and the likes of Sloppy Rod, Graven Image, Skid Mark and Horny Monkey came straight along the creek following my calls – leaving an unbroken circle for CW to figure out.

The rest of us FRBs were onto the trail behind the mountain – a great running trail! Hard to set checks, as ‘straight’ is the obvious choice. With Sloppy and Graven around 100m behind they kicked out the checks each time I called them, until we reached the inevitable “skiddy sticks” hybrid check, complete with my own powder bottle! I could have set a new trail, but played the game and went back to mark the way over the ridge.

Another couple of checks were straight on with Sloppy snapping at my heels and Graven licking his chops. We hit the fence and though I’d been there a bunch of times I wasn’t sure – left and then right, or right and then left? Bugger… Sloppy slipped away to the left and I hooked up with Graven, Horny Monkey and Skid Mark for the final moments.

That’s my story of the run… It seems other people had many different stories behind me – Mr. Poo sloping off with Doesn’t Get It to make sure she does… Unplugged slipping away with Angry Inch to see if the extra angry inch is worth it… Big Top lagging behind with Redundant Semen to ??? who knows what they were up to, but it took a while for them to get back with FD needing to separate them.

20th Jan – CH4 – Knockout

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Rating: 6.0/10 (1 vote cast)

Knockout teamed up with Unplugged for what was sure to be a nice gently happy hash run? yah right!

The girls decided we needed a good punishing, and took us straight towards the hills… The area was familiar, with Big Top, HRA and Bend Over setting memorable runs there, and there are some great views from the trails that hug the side of the hills. The early part of the run headed left so we could take in the view of the quarries, but of course started climbing into the the hills.

I hit a circle check first and only knew one way up the hill so doubled back to check up the obvious route. Somehow the hares had found another way and I was stuck behind a crowd as we crawled up a tunnel and then kept climbing through the recently burnt out hill. What a climb! 200+ metres till we reached a trail where the paper seemed to run out for a bit. We’d heard Chuckie up front calling “Looking” so when we got there we’d hoped it would be easier, but HRA, Graven and I relied on Horny Monkey to lead us straight back down the hill. What did we do to deserve that?

There were some checks were the hares must have got carried away chatting about shopping or something, cos they forgot to start laying paper for 150m or so. Finally we got down to the rubber wall, and jogged back to the A. Good challenging run! The visitors from Hong Kong didn’t appreciate the hill, but Frozen Dick particularly appreciated the minor celebrity we had in our group…:-
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2255599/Real-life-Legally-Blonde-Law-student-living-Barbie-Charlotte-Poole-hits-bullies-gaining-2-degrees.html

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2257304/Charlotte-Poole-Meet-human-Barbie-brain-bigger-34F-chest.html

19th Jan – CSH3 – Superman

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Rating: 6.0/10 (1 vote cast)

You would have thought that the highest combined runcounts in Chiang Mai history (Superman & Superbitch) we could have had a good run?! On route to the run most of us missed the right turn off the Sameong road as the sign was on the left – rookie mistake #1.

In the hare brief we were told we would be missing out on the luxuries of ‘modern’ checks like circles, V checks and Skiddy sticks, and today would be just Cross checks… Interesting concept! The problem with cross checks is the different opinions about how to call on them – should we call “OnOn” until we aren’t, or should we call “checking” for ever? The problem is amplified when we get a bunch of visitor virgin FRBs who decide not to call at all. :(

The runsite was about 1km from Sup’s home, cutting the flat part of the run out so we could just deal with the hills – fortunately they are gentle rolling hills with plenty of trail options. Apart from the frustrations of calling, we found our way through and finally hit the inevitable trail by the night safari. I was jogging along with Angry Inch as the true trail headed inland again and we thought better of it – my legs were still feeling the effects of last Sunday, so I jogged back in to get ready for the circle.