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6th April – CH4 – BMY & CW

Posted on April 9, 2014 by admin| Leave a comment
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It was the day after BMY and Big Top’s fabulous “mini” ball breaker (circa 15k = mini???) and I was looking forward to an easy, scenic hangover run through some of the beautiful countryside we are so blessed to find in abundance surrounding Chiang Mai.
Dr Byte and Chucky Whoooooooooooo had promised us something special – a live hare run to impress the many visitors who had joined us on the Sunday Happy Hash as a precursor to the celebratory 1000th CH3 run on Monday.
All through the previous week, the hares had suggested some charming hills and complementary flat trails – Chucky the supremo uphill gardener haring the hilly bits and Byte making sure we didn’t get to deploy the KY gel on the flat bits.
And so, after convincing our visitors on the songthaew they were in for a treat, it was a bit of a surprise when we arrived at the A site – a concrete shell of a house on a large dusty building site full of similarly incomplete, ghost-grey structures. Not to worry I thought, the lush green hills were only a short distance away. Surely we would be heading in that promising direction . . .?
The hare brief was suitably brief, with BMY suggesting the girls set off 10 seconds after the hares and the men a full 20 minutes after . . . mooh-ha-ha-ha! But the girls didn’t fancy the idea for some unimaginable reason and we all headed out on the chase after the obligatory five minutes had elapsed.
Belly Dancer spurted forth like a lame hippo in a tutu straight towards the main trail leading up into the hills, ignoring the paper trail the hares had set. Did he have inside info? Or had he been “misinformed” by the devious hares? Sadly it turned out to be the latter. The trail led us out into an open expanse of fields where a centrally placed circle check had us checking left towards the hills. But alas, the hares, intent on fucking over the FRBs at any cost and ensuring their own anal virginity – well at least for the purposes of this run – turned right, right back into the construction site via an un-happy-hash-like gully where I was fortunate enough to be on hand to give Itchy and Sleepsy a hand down and then a conveniently placed hand back up again – mooh-ha-ha-ha.
More grey dust trails, past more grey shell houses and over a familiar main road; and then we reached the familiar criss-cross warren of running trails used by the local fitness community. Good flat running trails. Many checks to hold us back. Lots of puffing and panting after yesterday’s “marathon”.
And then we emerged from the rabbit’s maze onto a flat, grassy field – it somehow reminded me of Newmarket race course – and back to the main, main road, where the trail led us back to the main road that we had previously crossed.
A long tarmac run; but this was Skid Mark territory and he rightly predicted the old favourite under-the-fence hole. So under we went and were thankfully off the tarmac and back on a dirt trail, the one with the familiar sneaky offshoot to the right, the one leading back to the building site and the A.
I followed the trail to the concrete fence surrounding the building site until I hit a false trail check back. So it was up and over the fence. None of Your Business found the trail on the other side and was first home, punching the air with obvious delight. There were a few stragglers but nothing to cause concern as the reliable Tip Toe was on hand to lead them on and in. Welcome back big man!
Great circle hares, but Big Top was probably right when she said that had it been any hash other than the Happy Hash, you would both have had willies over your heads for the tarmac and dust content of the run. But what do we care – this is the Happy Hash, right? Who needs willies when simple wit and humour will more than suffice?
As with most Happy Hash circles and on-ons (this time at the magnificent Sheryl’s), the magical blend of beer, good-natured splashes, fine food and welcome camaraderie, cast its spell upon us all and all thought and talk of the run eventually dispersed into a delightful alcoholic fog.
Good job hares! But I wonder what would have happened had None of Your Business caught Dr Byte before the end of the run . . . mooh-ha-ha-ha?????!!!!!
Ah, I do so love the Happy Hash!

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5th April – CSH3 – BMY

Posted on April 6, 2014 by admin| Leave a comment
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So nine months in wet soggy England did not inspire me to run – so back to Chiang Mai and already 60 Km of scouting & running this week – my feet certainly getting me know I should have put more into staying fit!

Dr Byte likes long runs … with girls! Considering the smog season and the brutal heat was somewhat relieved that it was not me haring another long run … so Dr Byte and GM Big Top team up to present a mini-Ball Breaker for the CH3 1000th run weekend.

Mr Poo has been doing his best rain dance for the last month and to BmY/Big Top worst fears – the deluge from hell came while they were setting the run! 6.5 hours it took to set and even then they missed a bit (yep I spotted the fresh paper on the 3rd leg). So BmY after a killer set, trudges back to check and re-set – all respects to hare commitment!

So a good crowd turn up at A (well Sloppy Rob and me were slightly confused) – and we’re transported to ‘A’.

Doesn’t Get It decides hiding in the truck is a better option – so Shagless now only has to worry about the trail. On Out we head past a small lake with black flowers or scum floating on it … bizarre ….!

I just about scramble to the front for a brief moment and then paper is spotted and that the last I see of Brown Finger & Co.

Despite the torrential downpour the paper was OK … some checks it was hard to ‘kick out’ the sodden (or sodding?) paper. Actually I did see Brownie again – about 1.5km in there was a check back that one of the visitors ran through that brought us all together …. Shagless and Humperdick did try and find the real trail but it was a FT!

So as I sank further towards the back with Scooby Doo and pleasantly Anything, Knockout and Couger.

Good scenery and even a bit of a cooling sprinkle of rain – pretty good, and after 4.6km hit the first beer stop with Knockout and BmY reveling in my anguish of descending his nasty gully.

Quick re hydration then off for leg 2 – the best of the lot scenery wise and very good undulating trails (no hills really) – all very pleasant and that took us to 8.3km by the second beer stop.

Knockout was suffering from the smoke – seems Poo was doing great, so great in fact I never saw him the whole run! Oh well KO is much nicer and along with Anything and Couger enjoyable trail mates. BmY revelled in delight as he had Big Top and Knockout to keep him company while Scooby, Couger, Anything and me headed off for the final leg.

More great trails/scenery and while the FRB’s came in on the 2:05/10 mark, us DFL’s finished the 12.5km in 2:40. A very enjoyable run – thanks hare (BmY) and GM Big Top for leading a good circle (half of which I missed retrieving my car).

Back into town and the Hash Pub for some serious rehydration – and up now for BmY/Chuckies live hared CH4 and tomorrows CH3 1000th Run!

OnOn
BD

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31st March – CH3 – Belly Dancer

Posted on March 31, 2014 by admin| Leave a comment
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Short Version:-

“Nobody died, so it can’t have been that bad…” (Anon)

Long Version:-

Belly is back! (With a vengeance?) 3rd day running in hot temperatures, and we were off for a 5:30 start… Surely he’d given up on the idea of the 9.99km for the 999 run? Apparently not – an hour of daylight would be fine for a 10k run! We skeptically set off, letting Brownie run ahead to do some checking for us. We promptly got a V check, and promptly got confused with Brownie going one way, Baldrick going the other. We didn’t know which way to go, but they both ended up at the same place, so we went that way, and found a circle check. Most went down the road, but I cut through an orchard and found another V check. I went right, and people called check back to the left moments before I hit a check back to the right. Muchos confusion, but I made my way across to the other trail and continued – nervously…. Another V check, and I was tempted to head to the left, but the trail straight on looked good enough, so I carried on. Paper dangling from trees to the left so I carried on, paying little attention to a blob of powder off the trail to the right – it might have been a check back, but the trail was clearly marked up ahead. Turkish and Brownie followed me and the trail turned terribly up, scrambling up a ridge. “This has ruined my day” I heard behind, and slowly crept my way over leaf covered rocks with no clues where to put my feet. Still we are on trail, so why was nobody following us???

It turned out that was a dummy trail, that wasn’t supposed to be part of the real trail. When we finally got back down we were way behind. Turkey screamed “Don’t leave me!” as Brownie and I set off in pursuit. After some distance we finally reined in Frozen Dick. Yup – Sups was still a long way ahead of us… Thats what happens when you follow trail I guess… Anyway, we got up to the lake, and came to a mutual decision that we would just go for a jog around the lake and back. I estimated about 7k, and we could just about manage it in daylight, so why not? We saw some paper going up the hill to the right, but kept going on our plan. Sooner or later we got some more paper, jogging along having a pleasant conversation.

Amazingly out of the blue ahead of us we heard shouts, and then Horny Monkey shot out of the trees, presumably coming back from checking the wrong way. Apparently we were back on a hash! Brownie was itching to go, and I felt like a dog owner walking his dog through a field of rabbits. Brownie looking longingly into my eyes until I gave him the nod to go on the chase. He did, and I carried on my plan to jog around the lake.

The trail went up a hill straight on, while the road went around to the left, so I continued my plan to jog around the lake, unaware that hashers were checking in the area, until Graven came running up alongside me, and we spotted paper. Interesting, somehow I’d become FRB! What should I do? A bit knackered from the weekend, plus the extra mountain, I should probably just continue around the lake. The trail cut off to the right into the trees, but we could see the paper about 10m to the right all the way along the road. Graven and I kept going and sooner or later the trail came back onto the road. Finally we could call On-On, and the pack were some way in the distance behind us.

The trail cut off to the left, towards the lake, but it had to rejoin the road sooner or later, so of course we carried on (I was still just heading around the lake). Brown Finger caught up with Graven and I and started pushing the pace along. Powder crossed the road from the left into the forest to our right. We paused. They were reluctant, but I remembered the trail was quite nice between the hills and back onto the mud roads the other side of the hill. Brownie and Gravy took off like rabbits being chased by dogs. I considered my options. I couldn’t keep up with the pair of them. I was on my own. It wouldn’t be daylight much longer. I’d already done quite a distance. It was 47minutes already. I wavered, and then chose to head back down to the A. Pretty quickly I was back on paper! wtf? There was paper everywhere!

I clocked up about 7k, which was enough for me. Not the 9.99, but at least I am alive! All in all the run was good – and I mean the run that was set by the hares was good, rather than the run I did… Only, it could have been a bit clearer and 1 particular place… Beer in hand, it’s time for the circle….

I think Skiddy did a good job, but to be fair I have no idea what was going on… It seemed to flow though…. If I don’t understand a splash, I normally assume it was the fault of the person giving the splash… But when it happens again and again, I start to wonder if my own mind is getting twisted up. I sat on the ice “You fuckers”, and I was off again. I hardly had time to quietly ask Chuckie why I had been there before he asked me why he was there. Sometimes lacking sense makes sense, and at least we got a “Useless Piece of Shit”.

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30th March – CH4 – Itchy Bitchy

Posted on March 30, 2014 by admin| Leave a comment
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The pollution puts some of us off, so Itchy chose to pick a run site about 20 metres from a fire… We all considered peeing on it, but even before we set off running the lungs were clouded with smoke.

It was an interesting run site – almost missable, except for 3 large “A” signs on the ground. We knew the area, as we’d run past it before, but I don’t recall a runsite there. A brief harebrief and we set off between two lakes. Quite a way to the first circle, and Brown Finger generously let me check the correct way. Another circle and I was heading up the hill… Brownie of course caught me (following me at an obvious check), and we ran into a circle on the ridge together. My bet was the trail down to the right, but I didn’t have enough confidence, so chose the higher ground up the hill. Brownie chose another hill, and when we came back Chuckie was calling the trail I originally wanted.

Down the hill and a random circle check on the trail guarded with barbed wire. Where to go? We carried on and found a gap in the fence. Brownie spotted powder down below, so we opted to throw ourselves off and work our way down. When we got there we called, and the pack came following, not having found a better route by then. Brownie, Chuckie and I were ahead and confidently checked the same way at the next circle. We were wrong, but what made it worse was when we were wrong a second time, and Graven came steaming through to take the lead.

It seems we cut off a couple of km and ended up near the A site sooner than expected. Nobody was overly concerned, it was freaking hot and we were glad to finish when we did. Great trail Itchy!

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29th March – CSH3 – Cumalot

Posted on March 29, 2014 by admin| Leave a comment
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Cumalot teamed up with Knockout for a run in the Mae Sa valley. It was a familiar location, but it’s been a while since we’ve been there… Last time I recall there being just me, Chuckie and Mr. Poo running the trail set by the same hares. Hopefully they would set the same again and we could have an advantage?

It seems Turkish was the one to get an advantage – he arrived hours early with Square Rooter to start checking some trail out and getting the first few checks sorted. His big mistake was to tell me and so we set off with some checks already loaded. It was a bit tricky though – not entirely comfortable with the area, and memory failing, they switched it up a bit at the start and it was a while before we were on a familiar trail up the elephant shit route.

A bit of a breakaway with Chuckie leading, Brownie, Piggy, Gravy and I taking the route over the hill tops and back down. The memories were there, I knew where we were headed. A V check had everyone confused, with check backs in both ways – and the way I went there were 2 check backs!! Now that is enthusiastic haring! Fortunately I disregarded both and found myself on trail on the road while the rest were confused by all the check backs. I think I went the way the hares had hoped to go, but took my time waiting for Chuckie and Gravy to catch up so we could run in together.

A nice trail, very well marked, fun in an area we haven’t done for a while.

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24th March – CH3 – Frozen Dick

Posted on March 24, 2014 by admin| Leave a comment
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Perhaps I’m lazy tonight? But just talked to Belly Dancer, and here is the abridged version I told him:-

“It was a good run until the bit we couldn’t figure out.”

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23rd March – CH4 – None of Your Business

Posted on March 23, 2014 by admin| Leave a comment
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So the boy went out to set his first haring, good on you my son! He could have chosen anyone to be co-hare, and he chose Horny Monkey… wtf? At first glance it seems like a strange decision – seriously? out of all the hashers you picked Horny? On reflection, it’s genius… If it is a crap run, he can easily blame Horny for not letting him do a good one…. If it’s a good one, he can say he set a good run even with Horny holding him back!

They went out to scout on Tuesday, and then laid trail today. On Tuesday there was a performance where they suggested it was going to be “Steep”. I nominate Game Set and Snatch for an oscar, and within moments I doubted we would be going up the hill. Suspecting the lower trails, it was a challenge to get some more info from Noyb. He’s normally coy and cagy, but he was clearly excited, and started to open up! With a few probing questions I knew we would be going over the dam by the Kalae Rest restaurant, and over the wall by the gate that would be closed by the time we got there. He had even told me there was only one more check after we got to the junction where the road turns to the left and the trail goes straight on (in turned out that was where the false trail that ultimately thwarted me was).

An elaborate hare brief covered most of the checks that would be ahead of us. The only one they didn’t mention was the H3 hold check – where we are supposed to wait for 3 people to get there? As it wasn’t mentioned in the hare brief, and I was the first one there, I just kicked it out and carried on (yes I confess!).

We started with a deathly scramble down the waterfall, and hit the road. Chuckie behind me predicting what was going on – it’s his old hunting ground too. The first false trail was predictable, and then we headed straight towards the lake – I knew there was a chuckie check near the lake so he could through the sticks into it. I got a couple of checks wrong early on, but when Chuckie went up the hill to another predictable false trail, I led the way to the check on the dam. I carried on, and then when it was called went the long (but quicker) way around along the road. Intercepting trail again, I led the way up some steps, confusing the short cutters that followed Turkish Delight (welcome to Sundays TD).

From there it was straight to the gate, over the wall and back along the trail. Why oh why did he put the false trail at the end??? Why would he do that to me?

Nice job.

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22nd March – CSH3 – Sunspot

Posted on March 23, 2014 by admin| Leave a comment
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Sunspot teamed up with Krap Thai, and I was expecting a short leisurely jog. Out past Maerim, there was a sizable group of FRBs turned up to play. With smokey air we were hoping for rain that didn’t come. Turkish led a group for an immediate short cut with Sups & Graven skipping the first couple of checks. Local knowledge I guess told them there was no way through a quarry. Either way we were bunched up with powder hard to find in places.

We crossed a creek a few times, and we started trying to figure out which side of it we were. I was a bit disoriented, and a late circle check on a bridge took an age to find. 4th time lucky, Gorf had missed some powder where he checked first, and with the 2nd blob around a corner 50m further on, it was no wonder we didn’t pick it up quicker. I led the way back into the rice fields, towards the aqueduct… I still wasn’t sure which side of it we should be, so when I had a circle check, I was too slow to go and check. Sure enough the trail took us over the 700m or so. A narrow path with water rushing one side and a steep cliff the other. Yes, there was a rail, but I opted out and picked my way through the paddy to scramble back in.

I wasn’t expecting 7.5km, but it was good one.

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17th March – CH3 – Horny Monkey

Posted on March 18, 2014 by admin| Leave a comment
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Horny had us back at his current favourite run area behind the Green Valley golf course. A slightly different runsite, but entrapped by the river & the golf course, we were sure to be hitting the same trails sooner or later. Apparently he found the runsite when he got a flat tyre and got lost. Anyway with Dogshit to help him, he took us out towards some rice fields. After a quick loop around we were quickly grumbling about damaging the crops.

The hares were waiting for us, to insist that we should run more through the fields and cause more damage to the already poor farmers. Gingerly we made our way along to find that the reason for the rice field was to avoid 100m or so of road. When we did hit the road, it became a feature with plenty more road to come. At a circle check I was wrong heading to the left, and when I rejoined the pack checking in a field, it was None of Your Business that suddenly sprinted off and then started calling 20m or so later. His gleeful gait was short lived though as he got the next check 180 degrees wrong, and we didn’t see him again.

We got to the same area that Horny set his last 2 runs, and as I caught Skiddy we both ducked off to the left leaving Graven, Brownie and Chuckie to collect the Skiddy sticks. A bit more of a loop around and we were heading back towards the road, and towards the A site. Sure enough, Horny loved the road so much, that he let us run on it twice! A Long Long Long stretch on the road had Chuckie & Gravy resort to walking.

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16th March – CH4 – Chuck Wao

Posted on March 17, 2014 by admin| Leave a comment
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Finally a Chuckie run on a Sunday – again it was described as ‘serviceable’. We were just north of the 700 year stadium at a moobaan favoured by Horny Monkey – familiar trails, but perhaps a different take on it?

I set off with Brownie, and were back along the road I’d just driven in along the canal. Strange – I’m pretty sure this doesn’t go anywhere, and no sooner had I figured it out, as we ran straight into a back check. Not the best of starts – we turned and followed Humperdick along the road that takes us towards the hills – even though we were close to the hills, we couldn’t exactly see them because of the pollution.

The trail headed off to the left – Horny Monkey and I eyed the trail briefly before deciding it would be a dead end, carrying on to find true trail moments before Humperdick found the false one. A few circle checks had us tied up in knots around the lake behind the stadium, and then we were on some nice trails. Construction work is tearing up part of the hillside, so it was a little unfamiliar. We scrambled down a steep drop, only to have to climb up the otherside. After a circle check there was more climbing, with None of Your Business scampering ahead. When a nice looking path headed off to the right, I yet again dodged a false trail, and in no time we were down onto the trail that runs along the bottom of the hill.

Everybody guessed to the right, to head back to home, but it just felt a little too soon, so on my own I checked along to the left. With no calls from behind me, I checked harder, and I was on! The trail headed up to a waterfall – definitely not going to be that way at this point – another false trail dodged. We knew we had to head into the rice fields, and I was lucky to get the right route in. Across the fields to the moobaan, and the hare had found a neat way of bypassing it, taking us back out onto the canal road to come in.

While the run had started precisely on time, and the FRB (me) was in in almost exactly 45 minutes, the circle was someone on the tardy side getting started, so the hash cash feared we’d go bankrupt.

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