Chiang Mai Saturday Hash House Harriers
Drinking and Running Since 1991
Hash Trash 1535 Grand Master – Skid Mark Haberdasher – Hot Nipples
Historian & Awards Master – Superman Hash Cash – Titty Smoker
Joint Master – Just Cumming Beer Monster – Deep Throat
Religious Advisor – Chuck Wao Hare Raiser – Bushy Tail
Deputy Beer Monster – Sheep Shagger On Sec.– Stumbling Dyke
Run # 1536
This year due to a unique alignment of the celestial bodies both Halloween and Loy Kratong coincided. Consequently an absolute hash fest descended on Chiangmai, with the Thursday run, the Cherry Breaker, the Saturday run, then Monday run and if it hadn’t been for Covid there would, of course, have been the infamous Loy Kaetoey run too. The latter run being abandoned due to the low keyness of the Loy Kratong this year. So well done to all those who took part in all the runs and managed to complete this hashing marathon.
Today’s run was brought to us courtesy of Sheep Shagger and Happy Ending although I suspect Happy Ending didn’t have much to do with it as she is still hobbling around on crutches. This was probably caused by having to carry all the large heavy stones, for an ornamental feature in Sheep Shagger’s garden. When hashing, Sheep Shagger likes to collect rocks. But he gets Happy Ending to carry them in her backpack, the heavy ones at least. Anyway, the location was behind Doi Khum. At a frequently used A bucket – and I think therefore deserving its own title of honor, eponymous or otherwise. Any Ideas?
This is an A bucket that always elicits a certain degree of PTHD – Post Traumatic Hashing Disorder- in me. As it was this location, a few years ago, that Angry Inch set one of the most horrendous and purely terrifying runs I can remember in all my years of hashing. This run was basically a trail that went right to the top of a mountain in, more or less, a straight line and as I remember taking about an hour just to reach the top. It was set at about the same time of year as today’s run meaning it got dark very quickly. As I started my descent, I was losing light rapidly and soon finding myself in the pitch black forest which is a totally different environment from that of the day time. Not an ideal scenario, I’m sure you would agree. In those days Chuck Wao wasn’t RA with no remit in regards to climactic conditions-come to think of it, he may have actually been GM at the time. Suffice it to say, the heavens opened resulting in one of the worst deluges of that year. I soon found myself halfway down the mountain in absolute darkness, soaking wet, off trail and subsequently totally disorientated. Not knowing where I was, not knowing whether I was on the precipice of a 20 meter ravine and not knowing what other hazards of the forest were lurking close by. Adding insult to injury the rain had got into my phone rendering it absolutely useless as I wasn’t able to make or receive calls or even use the GPS. If you want a musical depiction of how I felt. Listen to Mussorgsky’s Night on Bald Mountain: It really sums up my feeling at the time. I genuinely thought that I’d have to spend the whole night on the mountain. I fumbled around for a while getting nowhere and getting increasingly anxious. After what seemed an age, but it was probably only 15 minutes, or so, I heard the sound of a cascading waterfall which evoked the memory of a run from many years ago, so I made my way to the waterfall where I was able to locate a track that would lead me safely to the bottom of the mountain. I eventually got back to the A bucket resembling a drowned cat. I later found out that Tip Toe had experienced the same trauma as me. Before today’s run, Tip Toe and myself reminisced about our experiences on that fateful day and come to think about I’ve hardly seen Angry Inch since.
Back to today’s run, there was absolutely no chance of us experiencing weather resembling that of the run a few years ago as we have Chuck Wao in charge of rain suppression. He has more or less a 100% record in his time of office. He informed me he had made the relevant incantations to keep the rain away and I for one have every faith in him. Hashers from all parts of Thailand converged on Chiangmai for the weekend. I counted about 75 in all, So Titty Smoker, Hash Cash, with this injection of cash into the coffers of the hash may at last be able to put the down payment on a new truck as there has been a dearth of visitors for quite some time.
Sheep Shagger gave the usual hare brief. He confided in me that there were going to be no strenuous hills to negotiate. Hopefully he could be believed. We all set off away from the mountains and first of all went through a banana plantation where I bumped into Redundant Semen ,a frequent visitor over many years. We exchanged pleasantries and recounted a few memories of the olden days in Chiang mai. With such a big pack and so many visitors there was sometimes a bit of confusion when it came to checks and false trails. The pack generally stuck together running along the ubiquitous leafy trails of the area. We came to the Rambo – Wimp split where I came across Purple Fart who opted for the easier option. I personally took the Rambo trail along with a few of the visitors who were chugging along at my pace, but I must have missed the trail because I was making my way along the road although I was on paper; I could hear the pack in the forest adjacent to the road. Eventually I met up with the runners. We proceeded to carry on the road for at least 1 km and back to the A bucket.
I clocked up about 3.5 km, but a lot of the runners would have done the Cherry Breaker on the previous day, so it would have been treated more as a recovery run. I wasn’t aware of any mushrooms being captured on this run and I hope none of the visitors purloined any of our fungi. This run was the total antithesis of that Angry Inch run all those years ago.
OnOn Stumbling Dyke…