11th Dec – CH3 – Brown Finger

So it was Brownie down the end of Canal Rd in the forests behind Suckit’s place. What could possibly go wrong? Answer: nothing!
It was as good as I expected and Brownie has a real feel for them that hills and trails. Trouble was I had a feel for my latte in Buff Cafe so my mind drifted and suddenly it was 4:15. Shiite on a stick!
Surviving some near death driving, I hove to in a lather a few minutes after the pack had departed, as Sheepy ambled off round the corner in his luminescent lime leggings. Oh, shut that door!
A quick hello to BF and Sloppy who shot off, I set my own pace content to enjoy the trial with or without company.
After ten mins I heard OnOn to my right front. Paper led left so I considered a Turkey short cut right to cut out a loop and catch up but I was in the mood to jog 6 km and wanted to see what the hare had created.
Trail was well marked in Graven arsecrack paper and circles were properly kicked out, please note ABB. Complete or half strips led away from the check to link the trail and I wished ABB could watch and learn.
Shortly I came upon iHop, whose sole purpose seems to be to provide irrefutable proof that Goat did once have sex with a human female. The guy is son of Goat incarnate. IHop daintily jumped right as I passed which is more than TipToe did. DoesNothing was next to be passed and then it was a long solo stretch on beautiful paths, some stony, some sandy, a few trips and semi stumbles but the good ship Alice continued apace.
Suddenly the tall figure of Pussy Whisperer appeared and stopped mid path. He fumbled infront of himself. I say, I know guys pee ‘on trail’ but not ON the actual fcuking path. Without warning his right elbow appeared and he commenced a sawing motion for a minute. I kept shtum in my shock and then the red hanky came out. Once he was done with whatever he was doing, I yelled OnOn and passed minding where I set foot.
As we came out of the forest towards properties, I saw the usual collection of shambling excuses on their way back. Robin Banks was actually running at one point, Horny Monkey was back on trail, yay, and Superman appeared as is his wont.
Paper led thru a long, flat orchard. I caught SheepShagger at the end of it and jogged on towards some other figures. Amusingly about half a dozen of the leaders went wrong quite close to home, Gravy, Piggie, Sondra etc and I spied them returning to true trail and heading right. How so many went wrong at once was a mystery but never overestimate hashers.
Back at the A the hare nervously headed off on his bike as dusk approached to go hunt down iHop who hadn’t appeared. I think he regretted it, as the larger than life Tar Heel was 2 km behind Tiptoe, in the forest, taking selfies as darkness fell. Darwin Award nominee. Seconded.
The circle was a bit long and became a Graven & Superman love fest. Get a motel next time lads.
Super set and a good group of guys. Sondra was named Norwegian Wood, I mean Mr Potato Head, and admitted enjoying his 2 weeks in CM.
Coon Alit