4th September – CH3 – Frozen Dick

By Alice
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We were running from Frozen’s investment property. It’s HIS area. He KNOWS all the trails. Yup, there’s only one certainty when all those factors are weighed up….Frozen will get lost and fcuk himself. Bingo! It happened yet again!
Frozen was pretty bushed pre run and explained he’d done 15km trying to set just the second half of the run. And got totally lost. And it was hot. And he didn’t have his GPS as he’d lost it. Sounded like the harbinger of doom was in top form!
With heavy heart, I set off wondering what dog’s dinner the upstate NYer would serve up. We turned right then left and suddenly were on a familiar trail to me, one near Pigshit’s lovely CH3 with Strangely Anal last fall. On on! I computed possibilities from here and felt quietly confident I’d recognise bits of trail at least.
Up we went round a property then a circle at a key spot. 4 ways and my nearest hashers didn’t realise where the could be headed.
Straight it was and we piled some the path. Suddenly the hare appeared on his bike to inform that the FRBs had run thru a checkback. About 8 of us had but were only 30m past so FD should have STFU and watched chaos then revelation. Anyway he pointed us back and we went up into to the doi on a little path totally new to me. Interesting!
We wiggled through the trees and up and down a bit then came down to an open area and circle. This check had us for a good few minutes before OnOn was called directly opposite and across the field. I’d gone right up Piggy’s return valley. Not the last time FD would fox me.
Lovely forest trails were enjoyed for minutes on end with some decent check options. We exited at another check. Poo went front left, I went right, knowing it was away from home but maybe a loop. The circle guarders didn’t yell loud enough and I continued checking and calling for a few minutes before I realised they were probably gone. Bastards.
Cutting across the big cambered field I caught up with the guilty, Does Nothing, Softballs, ABB etc by the next circle in the far left corner after two strips max. After a bit of forest the trail opened and I began to overtake the sinners.
Poo and Piggy were running steadily ahead as we came down a longish hill. I lengthened my stride from sparrow to blackbird and noticed the huge quarry left front and unmarked junction as the FRBs went right on paper. Mmm, suspicious. Piggy yelled Checkback as Poo had missed it and I turned down the straight inviting path west side of the quarry. Kwaz told me he’d have worked out it was really that way if he’d have seen no check only paper headed right. Hindsight? BS? We’ll never know!
Heading towards the wooded stream bed I scanned for paper in the creek or across the other side as our papered trail turned back on itself slightly. Kwaz demanded to know why I was off paper. I expected a False Trail call but the FRBs yelled Check.
Across the stream I checked the field and almost knew there had to be paper on the path at the far side. Kwaz was now checking closeby and as we hit the path, the On On call from away left. Fcuk, no paper! What had the hare done?
Suddenly we both saw powder! Had Frozen mentioned powder? No! We both investigated different spots of white. Yes, powder and new. We were on but which way?
I realised trail must go from the On call on paper towards us so ran the other way. Kwaz did the opposite but I shouted an explanation.
We were a few hundred metres ahead and I ran steadily back on powder with nary a rear glance until a huge clear powdered On In with arrow. This On In was as long as certain recent runs but I kept going with ten second rests and came home further infront of the pack than I expected. Confusingly, a powder arrow pointed the wrong way just before the last turn – a classic counter espionage technique!
Back at the A, Frozen explained that HRA had saved his bacon, located him in the forest part and perhaps assisted in the second section of the run. What a spiffing effort, top trails and good checks, well marked. A run that promised little from the hare brief, but delivered big time. Kudos Frozen and helpful elf HRA!
P.s. Welcome Kai, our newest member of CH3 and nice suggestion ABB for a truly Germanic Hash Handle- Scheissenhausen. Achtung baby!