Twas the night before Xmas, and all of the hash gathered for beer and running, but mostly just beer. We were an hour premature, and just as well as the runsite was at the far edge of eternity. From here we would surely head deeper into unknown lands and find new trails? Nope. But we were all filled with Xmas cheer and were looking forward to whatever might happen. The songthaews were late, given the distance and condition of the roads it wasn’t a surprise! Finally we were released and sent back down the road we’d driven in on.
Turkish sprinted off without listening to the instructions, and promptly ran in the wrong direction. I picked up trail and behind me Angry Inch was attacked by a giant snake. A check – a V check and I confidently went to the right. God damn it! After scrambling up the fooking hill, I hit a check back. Mother Fuckers! And No present? My Christmas was ruined already! Back down the hill, I was grumbling, and already well back and trying to catch up. And then there were the hares with some kind of reindeer pussy juice, and I started feeling better about the whole thing.
But the pace was on and people were already off. There seems to be an added racism involved in hashing these days 
Another check and I was back in the mix when Scooby started running back past us. I’m not 100% sure, but I think he got a message sending him all the way back to the beer stop – nice and sporting of him to put in the extra legwork. I think if I had had to go back to the beer stop, I would probably have stayed there! Meanwhile Sloppy took great delight in me getting fucked over at the circle check, double bluffing myself while they just laughed at me. MOFOs.
I settled into mid FRB pack, trudging along familiar trails, aware there were people checking ahead, but not really seeing any action. The walkers had been let loose ahead of the FRBs, which is generally a disaster, and sure enough lead to several KM of just running. By chance I joined the front of the pack as we descended on a pile of presents! Woot woot! What would I get? Dmanit, a Santa dress! Sportingly I wore it for the rest of the run, and the temperature immediately rose – damn that was hot, and the dress didn’t stretch enough for me to run properly… I was slowing down…
We got to another check, and I later found out it was the mistletoe kissing check, but the calls were so confusing that I had no idea what was going on. I spent some time checking off back and to the right while I guess the rest of the hash were busy kissing each other. I called “RU?” several times, but got nothing back in return. When I finally went back to trail and discovered the mistletoe check there was some male visitor looking at me in a disturbing way! I cut across to rejoin the trail and sure enough found paper. The paper was interesting, and I immediately suspected the hares had done something interesting… – I went back on trail a short way to see how paper was laid towards what had to be a false trail. As I figured that out, Turkish sprinted past – “winning”! Ha… Graven wasn’t far behind, so I showed him the true trail and we jogged off towards the 2nd beer stop while Sloppy followed and Turkish embarrassed himself.
Another beer stop, and we were just around the corner from the A-site. Trail lead down the hill, and I was sure it must be a sneaky false trail! The hares assured me it was true trail, and reluctantly I attempted to jog in the dress down the hill. I was spent, but walked around the last loop the hares had forced us through and back to an entertaining circle. Nice job guys! Hashy Christmas everyone!