By Alice
—
Frozen Dick was kvetching that he isn’t able to solve checks with the FRBs. Well Frozen you missed your big chance. This was a ZINGER with FRBs, mid pack, DFLs all milling about checking here and there TOGETHER for about 30 minutes at the second check. Which turned out to be the last check on the wimp trail. It wasn’t much fun. Walkers mostly standing in the shade as every avenue was explored and re-explored further and further to no avail.
Shagless appeared and yelled:The hare said it was to the right. But we were at the WRONG 2nd/last check not the first. Total fcuk up. We checked every which right, front, back and even the other right.
Eventually saw bodies in the woods: Snail trail, Chatterbox, ABB, Shagless. They’d found the 2nd LAST check going the wrong way and dropped paper going further into the woods. There was only a couple of strips to be found. Then nothing. Total fcuk up.
I jogged back to the resort. 3.9km of total fuck up in 35 minutes. Cartoon and Blows tried to follow paper into the woods. Wrong move. They were back shortly afterwards.
I plopped in the pool.
Recommendations:
1. Newly returning hares to be paired with experienced local hares on their first run back.
2. Social services to be alerted if Skidmarks takes virgin hare Potato Head again to ‘teach’ him how to set trail.
3. Cuckold to be informed his Mae Jo endless run has possibly lost its place on the roll of honour.
4. 3 strips per 100m of trail minimum to become legal requirement. Punishable with water down downs or ice time equivalent to time wasted looking while on trail.
5. Prayer.