By Alice (the co-hare)
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A new A site with flat, interesting 5.5km run featuring bamboo bridge, canal crossings and the amazing features of jet airliners on blocks with run directions vetted by Byte. What could go wrong? Turkey. That’s what could go wrong.
The pack arrived by songthao after Anal Vice and Cartoon in their trucks. Shagless, Brownfinger and Frozen bike it in. All good so far. Then….my phone rings.
A distraught Turkey is calling from his car saying that the fcuking directions are wrong and he’s somewhere it seems near Lamphun.
Instead of just relaxing and laughing at world class ineptitude, I get stressed and pissed off. Retard 8 year olds I dealt with better for 30 years. I call him back and explain yet again. Take your 1317 out past Promenada. YOUR road to your SKP resort. Just like it says on the email.
A barrage of frantic complaints about junctions and no HHH signs on the Superhighway come my way in return. I inhale deeply and make a mental note to become a drinking co-hare for the night.
This is after Tiptoe complained bitterly there were no distances in the email – there were – and Frozen said there was only a sign AFTER the turn – there was one 100m before on the left and one at the turn. Working with children and animals is actually easier.
Strangely briefs the pack and its powder for the lads with bits of paper where it was overgrown and shiggy. A short, flat run out seems to be just the ticket after Saturday’s ball breaker.
Off they went along the road at the start of their roughly clockwise circuit. Hares Alice and Strangely see Scooby run towards the big plane and the powder checkback after the initial loop. He sees the bar from the bridge and reverses.
We jump my scooter and cross the bridge, pass the plane and wait behind jet engines and fuselage sections as the walkers pass to our left and the FRBs, already across the bamboo bridge, tear down the far side of the canal, Scooby, Browny and Semen Soars in the van.
Later, I heard that on the field loop, Semen spotted powder across the canal on the lake loop and climbed past the big gate and over the pylon bridge to shortcut, with three miscreants following. Strangely had mentioned this potential opportunity while setting and I’d replied that if anyone does, they’re welcome as it wasn’t an attractive or easy proposition.
Once the pack were away checking and shouting in the distance somewhere near the little concrete hut across the canal, we set the ON IN. Suddenly a fidgety figure in white with multiple injection punctures in his knee and shoulders, appeared at the metal canal crossing. Someone who’d been told by Lungla to go out in the completely opposite direction and follow the 6ft arrow on the road Strangely had so helpfully left for him. Someone told me he was scared to go on motorbikes but jumped on giggling and nervous to be taken half a click towards the bamboo bridge.
“Slow down Alice!” someone implored as the bike sped at 5kph over the gravel track.
Strangely returned to base while I waited to take pics of the returning pack running past the huge partially dismembered jet. I was a tad concerned they’d ace the run and estimated 45 min at best. As the minutes ticked by I relaxed and knew it’d be around 50 min for FRBs, by the time I espied Browny and Scooby through the foliage. They speeded up and crossed the ON IN in perfect unison, moving, breathing, singing out together like Tweedle Dum and Tweedle Dumber.
As the runners returned most were fascinated by the jet, apart from Poo who I’m not sure saw it. Shagless climbed the gangtry without a safety harness, tut tut, to get a look in the nose section.
Circle was disturbed by a patriotic song and yabbering commentary that continued for a few annoying minutes at 6pm. It was worse than Graven renegotiating the out station!
We heard that the pack considered the checks were varied and kept the lead changing. The circle on the Monet bridge was tough as they had to go back, cross the canal on sandbags and choose one of two overgrown paths. Graven swore it was 130m til he found paper but he was outed for short checking recently so I’m taking that with a pinch of salt. Browny informed me that the False Trail back across the weir coming back was an obvious no no but someone did go over to find the bar and FT in the abandoned building.
OnOnOn at Billy’s was a well attended and liquid affair. Italian nosh and banter. Well done Strangely! First of many I hope.