Turkish was the hare, with Alice apparently stepping up as co-hare / paper carrier. The hare wasn’t there at the start of the run though, so the incompetent co-hare set us off in 180 degrees the wrong direction. 300m or so later, I gave up and went back to ask Alice, who jumped on his motorbike to go search for where the trail started!!! Not the best start to a hash!
We headed towards the hill, and I knew this was a steep ass hill. I’ve run turkey runs and the possibility of a blind hack straight up through shiggy isn’t beyond him. I traverse to the right, and Tasty told me I hadn’t traversed enough… I traversed some more and then found a way up. No call… The first check and this was taking forever… I hacked up further and found a reasonable trail that went along the side of the hill. I was sure we’d be going up the hill somewhere, so would it be left or right. Finally some calls, but no clarity. I had no idea where it was coming from, or where it was headed. Poo was also hacking his way on the same hill, and intent on carrying on, even though he also had no idea where the calls were coming from. I traversed some more, but the calls weren’t helping.
Eventually I made it back down to the trail, and overtook Does Nothing. Already I was feeling weary and wary, or wary and weary. I got to the hares, looking agitated. As I got there Turkish took off running up the hill screaming, telling people to stop. I tried to get some sense out of Alice, who told me the trail was off to the left… I asked why people were calling from up the right, and he said it was because of Turkish… Turkish was the hare! The hare is the reason we call from all directions… I asked who had gone to the left already, and he said “everybody”, even though I knew there were people behind me, and I could hear those ahead of me calling from up the hill…! What am I supposed to believe? Cryptic comments / actions from the hares, or my ears?! I’m trying to rejoin the pack, but being sent away from where they are calling… My faith in the run was already waning…
We were back at the side of the night safari, and somehow I rejoined the front group of hashers. All confused. The next bit was actually a really smart set… – smart from the hares, but frustrating as hell for us runners. We ran essentially along the night safari fence, and at every opportunity we wanted to turn right. And every opportunity we had to turn right we were promptly met with a false trail or check back. My energy levels were drained by each misstep. We got so far around the Night Safari, that I almost though the hares would take us all the way around – and had I not seen them on trail, they might have had me going further…
But, we were 45 minutes into the run, the trail was still going away from home, and towards a hill that I remember… The cards were on the table – I didn’t spit my dummy, I just opted to fold my hand and enjoy the trail by the night safari back to the A. Having a beer with Sups trumps that killer hill climb in my book. While the co-hare was desperate, the hare was disparate.
On reflection the run was intricately clever. The checks were deviously well thought out, and ultimately even cleverer than expected. The incompetent cohare cost us some time at the start, and the checks combined with the fucked up confusion…. Well they tricked me into not trusting the hares anymore, so for that I congratulate you.