Chiang Mai Saturday Hash House Harriers
Drinking and Running Since 1991
Hash Trash 1559 Grand Master – Skid Mark Haberdasher – Snail Trail
Historian & Awards Master – Superman Hash Cash – Chatterbox
Joint Master – Just Cumming Beer Monster – Deep Throat
Religious Advisor – Chuck Wao Hare Raiser – Bushy Tail
Deputy Beer Monster – Sheep Shagger On Sec.– Stumbling Dyke
Run # 1560
With this Saturday being the local election bringing with it the obligatory ban on the sale and consumption of alcohol a discrete A bucket was required for this week’s run. So what better place than Ban Billabong, that little piece of Thailand that is forever Australia, Superman’s and Superdarling’s residence out near the Night Safari.
About 25 to 30 of the usual and dedicated suspects gathered under the welcome shade of the eucalyptus trees, given that the temperature was pushing 40 degrees again, a very necessary requirement. These trees, also known as gum trees, are a major feature of the garden which led Superman to recount a tale etched in the folklore of the early pioneering Bushmen of the 1800’s. These are the guys who, by their hard work, ingenuity and tenacity, shaped modern day Australia. His story started like this: You have to realize back in the 19th century there was very little in the way of pornography and your average bushman was a very virile kind of bloke who would require a little carnal pleasure from time to time. Resourceful and innovative were very much what the early European settlers needed to be in this very unfamiliar land. One day one of these geezers must have been relaxing by a billabong waiting for a jumbuck – whatever one of those is – and noticed the uncanny resemblance these gum trees had to female genitalia. As a result the jolly swagman would use the trees to fantasize about his perfect Sheila – I hope I’m using the correct terminology – and would pleasure himself accordingly to Mother Nature’s natural version of PornHub. What a different world it was before the internet.
After Superman had made me aware of this, I could see the remarkable resemblance and the story seem perfectly plausible. But whether this is a true story or just a figment of his imagination, I will have to wait for the return of Chuck Wao to corroborate this account. As he is the nearest person I know to a jolly swagman.
Anyway back to the business of the run. Superman gave the hare brief and set the harriettes off first and told the men to wait for a few minutes. We all thought He was going to divulge a piece of juicy information, not for the ears of the ladies, but alas not. Although we were given a little entertainment watching the women trying to open the gate leading out of the garden. It must have taken them a good couple of minutes to emancipate themselves through the portal.
Once the girls had overcome the obstacle of the gate the guys set off. So down to the bottom of the garden we went and obviously through the gate and into a rice field. The trail took us across a very substantial bamboo bridge – far too substantial for any hash run. The trail then took us onto the shoulder of the busy Canal Road which gave us a great opportunity, for a few hundred meters, to observe the local automotive engineering of the area. We saw some very impressive examples of Hondas and Toyotas with a few sightings of the lesser spotted Mercedes S class. You may have detected a little sarcasm there. We eventually turned off the highway into the local village and ran around the local streets; this was very much an urban run therefore eliciting the usual responses of bewilderment from the local community. Along the streets we went and ultimately we came to the wimp – Rambo split. At this point I wimped out, quite literally and then a few hundred meters back to Ban Billabong; a run of about 5km, thankfully, totally flat given the high temperature. Just the kind of run we need in this blistering heat, well done guys.
With the Thai government having banned the throwing of water during Songkran this year; although it is better than last year where they totally banned booze. As we weren’t officially in Thailand, but an outpost of Oz. and there being a full moon someone decided to have a scaled down water throwing episode during the circle, I think it may have been initiated by Bushy Tail. I think everyone had a dose of the icy water treatment. Love it hate it is one of those traditions that can only happen in countries like Thailand. After the Circle Superdarling and her entourage provided us with great food and plenty of it; so all in all another successful hash on a non-drinking day in Thailand.
OnOn Stumbling Dyke…