Chiangmai Saturday Hash House Harriers
Drinking and Running since 1991
Hash Trash # 1524
Grand Master – Skid Mark Haberdasher – Juicy Fruit
Historian & Awards Master – Superman Hash Cash – Titty Smoker
Joint Master – Just Cumming Beer Monster – Deep Throat
Religious Advisor – Chuck Wao Hare Raiser – Bushy Tail
Deputy Beer Monster – Sheep Shagger On Sec. – Stumbling Dyke
Run # 1525
Today’s run once again took us South from the Samoerng and Canal Road junction. As many runs are set in this area and this reference point often used when giving directions. I think it deserves its own title. I suggest calling it Samcan. This being a portmanteau word taking the Sam from the first three letters of Samoerng and the can from the first three letters of canal. Also when said in the correct tone and given the right inflection, it roughly translates into the Thai word for important. Just a thought.
The hares for today’s escapade were Doesn’t Get It and Shagless. The A bucket was at Cloud 9. This is a place where I have a distant, totally bizarre, memory of a piano in the middle of a rice field. Whether this is a legitimate memory, or I dreamt it. I would have to have corroborative evidence on the matter. Doesn’t Get It got on with the hare brief. The usual stuff, following strips of paper, circle checks etc. Then she made some kind of bodily gesture, which to be perfectly honest with you, I missed. But it was the source of a great mirth and merriment among those assembled also eliciting the odd jocular remark or two. From the veritable cornucopia of hashing terrain available in and around Chiangmai today’s run would be flat and taking us through a vast array of rice fields. With, at this time of year, the young rice plants exuding an amazing luminescent hue of green that is only seen in Asia.
Everyone now in high spirits set off along a tarmac road and after about 100 meters coming to the first circle check. The usual suspects doing the checking-namely Chuck Wao, Just Cumming, Skid Mark and Cartoon – and the other circle guardians taking up their positions waiting for the onon to be called. After a few minutes the trail was located bringing us past a lam yai processing plant which had some weird, Heath Robinson, looking machines outside. Frozen Dick informed us, they were used to make lam yai jelly which is exported to china. It’s amazing the things you can learn on a hash run.
Although today’s running terrain was void of inclines the ground was very uneven in places and often quite waterlogged. We were now heading for the rice fields, but first we had to negotiate a trail which dropped down 2 or 3 meters, or so, through herbaceous undergrowth which had formed a kind of tunnel. Before I entered I could hear shrieks and screams coming from Mary Poppins’ kids who, apparently, had been told by their mum not to get their shoes wet. At the other end was Skid Mark taking great delight in their predicament telling them repeatedly, ” it’s the hash, it’s the hash. This is what it’s all about”.
With the tunnel episode behind us, we now found ourselves amidst the rice fields being surrounded by a pure sea of green with the mountains in the distance interspersed by a plethora of wistful clouds. The scene was quite spectacular, somewhat exemplifying an idyll of rural life in Northern Thailand. We carried on over an irrigation canal by means of a bridge far too substantial, safe and sensible for an area of this kind. It was my belief that any bridge, to be hashed across, in an environment such as this can only be constructed from no more than three dodgy bamboo poles. That’s my experience, anyway.
A little further on we came to the Wimp-Rambo split with Geisha Gash who was running in front of me taking the Wimp option as I embarked on the Rambo trail. I was now alone and ran along some nondescript trails and once again came to a tarmac road and it wasn’t long before I came to the very welcome beer stop. The amber nectar was consumed, pleasantries were exchanged with the hares and I carried on. At this point I was about 1.5 km from the A bucket, but a load of black foreboding clouds had amassed overhead. There was no doubt about it; it was going to rain. Not an absolute deluge, but heavy rain ensued making the ground very muddy and slippery.
The trail now took me along some of the earthen walls of a rice field proving to be a pretty treacherous path to take and probably not doing the farmer any favors either. With the rice field traversed, I got back onto a decent hard surface. I thought now, being as wet as an otter’s pocket, I couldn’t be far from the OnIn only to be confronted with an arrow pointing into a wooded area. I followed the fore mentioned arrow to be led into an area that can only be described as a mosquito ridden, hell hole of a swamp and who knows what other natural fauna was present there, I’d rather not think about it. Also with the black clouds and time moving on it was getting quite dark at this point, so as you could imagine, I wasn’t in a place I particularly wanted to be in. I was very relieved to eventually get out of the swamp area and back on a firm surface. I crossed another irrigation canal and soon came to the OnIn and back to the A bucket.
The run was about 6 km it took me about an hour and twenty minutes. I didn’t hear about any mushrooms being gathered today. Perhaps Doesn’t Get it picked them all while she was setting the trail. Great scenery, great run guys. I look forward to your next one.
OnOn Stumbling Dyke