25th May – CH4 – Chuck Wao

ChackWao set just about the perfect CH4 trail from the Disco Shelter writes Alice. As long as we ignore the first 200m where they pack headed out left when he said mind the bees on the left and turn right – or so he claims.
Luckily I was last and listening, so turned right and was FRB from the off! After a few hundred metres Obscene caught me and we dealt with the first few checks together. Across a canal, into the forest and around the edge of some orchards across fairly steep rough terrain. I was going well and nailed another couple before Sex Pistol and Blows Herself caught up, just as I hit a FT on a sharp rise. If SP’s scowl could talk, it would have sworn Joe Pesci to shame.
Knockout waited at the join to the real trail as she was worried Midder Poo wouldn’t see the 4 or 5 white strips from the FT I laid. I should have punished her for that!
Once Sex Pistol and Knock Out got ahead they made good headway as I tired, and Obscene with Blows Herself dealt with checks and the second FT in their own way. It was hot and hugely sweaty, by half way my shirt was wringing, my water was finished and the empty bottle jammed in my shorts.
Ahead a circle was called and I thought CW might just be devious enough to go back and left. Everyone else went forward, so I reversed and searched along the side of the piggery. Pig’s arse, I had fcuked up and Chacky true trail was just straight on!
At the next FT, there was confusion as the FRB’s weren’t communicating or calling clearly. I shouted to BH what was happening and confusion reigned as she didn’t see a check. It had been a left turn FT and Poo and self went left into woods and orchard to check. No! On straight again! HRA had managed to catch us and finished strongly.
My eyes were stinging with sweat and we turned a corner to see the blessed On In. Obscene was very proud of coming in 2nd he told me.
ABB or Poo told me about Jeff buggering his ankle so I went out on motorcy to find him wandering down a red mud track after the On In that wasn’t on trail back to the A!
Kwazi was accused of shortcutting and Sex Pistol had the affrontery to liken my FRB calling to a church mouse. Obscene was had for silly monkey running style. ABB was the TMB stand in – a shoe-in in fact, both German and like giving orders.
Wings were awarded to Coming Slow and Cumalot, by her boy child. Nice to see corruption and nepotism at work close up, and not just in the White House.
OnOnOn at Lazy Farang who now hold the slowest service record for recent months.
On on!
Alice