FD is known to prefix his runs with superlatives like ‘the best’, while today he pointed out the good bits were his, while the crappy bits were due to Human Excrement. With moments to go, the hare brief was delivered and again the hare pointed the direction leaving the hash sniff, Humperdick, feeling unloved and as if he has a pointless position… Hmmm… We set off running and at the first opportunity I went the wrong way.
Another circle check and I was back doing the FRB duty, until the next check where I ended up pretty close to where we started and nowhere near the trail. Hell Superman was in front of me and Dick Tracy staring at his ass. We hadn’t even reached the check that FD was so proud about! A set of skiddy sticks thwarted the lesser minded, and from what I hear the painted sticks will never be found again from where Sloppy launched them to. Poo and I were meanwhile on the real trail only to hit THE circle check. Ugh!
What a mess, for some reason we all thought he was going to loop to the left – that’s what we do here… We don’t go back down to the right, the trail must be somewhere further on to the left… Damnit – Superman was in front of me again, with Dick Tracy staring at his ass! Down the hill it was single file down a narrow gully and I was feeling more nimble footed than the pack in front. Oh well, I had to creveate along – (I know that isn’t a word, but there isn’t a word to describe following a slower runner down a narrow trail).
At the bottom I was frustrated – was he really going to run us back along the road? or just parallel to the road? We’d set off in this area, so surely there was some trick… I was with Skiddy when Skiddy said “hmmm I was here before, and there was no paper then….” Clearly the dastardly hares were planning a figure of 8? Or were they just complete fuck ups? We ran past blocked off trails that we’d previously travelled to a circle close to where we’d previously circled.
It was the second check that took longer than it could have – largely due to Poo not spotting the white paper dangling from the trees. Sadly – that gave Sloppy Rod the opportunity to run back to the old paper on the out trail, and call the pack ONON, with Big Top in quick pursuit. I know this as I had a great view from the crappy trail I was climbing my way through, that also turned out to not be the right way to go.
Fortunately I’d heard the sound of Humperdick’s horn to lead me to the left. Hang on – did I just say something positive about the bloody horn? That irritating squeak that destroys the pleasant peacefulness of the countryside? – let me digress….
Since Chuckie is Hash Cash and Humpers is sniff, things have changed on the hash. Humpers is fitter than when he first started, which means outrunning the horn isn’t quite as straightforward. So I’m running along, minding my own business, when all of a sudden the bloody horn sounds from right behind me. WTF? Further up the trail, I’m jogging along, completely on edge, fearing another horn blast, when Chuckie suddenly says “Am I near the front yet?”. Geez! I’m supposed to be at peace, in nature, but I’m running along fearing acoustic molestation!
…and I’m back. Where was I? Ah yes… Poo (the wings), Humpers (the winner) and I (the GM) did the right way back, while the rest of the pack followed the cheating, short cutting Sloppy, and sure enough they were into the beer before us. A cunning trail with plenty of twists… – I have to say this was another great run by Frozen Dick – hang on I take that back – it was a great run by Frozen Dick. The right length, with plenty of challenging checks that kept everyone together throughout the trail. Just what we wanted – good job!
(From the hareline, it appears we might be having 52 more Frozen Dick runs this year! Delegation is the key!)