At the last minute I decided to get some exercise and join the latest version of the LBH3. After countless emails of scouting reports from Skid Mark and a follow up email from Jungle Chim I realised I didn’t have anything better to do with my afternoon than to punish myself with exercise – what the hell? I got to the Hash Pub, McDonalds in a bag and we piled onto Songthaews to god only knows where.
San Kampaeng was the answer and a bit past the Hot Springs. As we turned off the highway, with the elevation profile in mind, plus Skiddy’s promise of good food, I predicted we’d go over the mountain and through the rice fields to Gunther’s German Sausage factory. I was right. I set off slow, wanting to conserve energy and save myself for what was to come. Unfortunately at the first check the FRBs went right and I was on trail to the left. After getting the next check right it was time for my first set of Skiddy Sticks – I wasn’t even trying to be an FRB so why was I adding more to the trail? Very soon after we got to the cars and were permitted to have a drink of water before embarking on the hill – sorry mountain.
Bondage and Brown Finger led the way, running up the trail as if they had no idea what was to come. Pure lunacy! Surely they knew we were going over the top? The cunning hares had carefully screwed them over with another set of Skiddy Sticks. HAH – it was Tinker-sorry Scooby Doo that led us up the first stretch of the mountain from hell. I followed taking great care not to put too much effort in. When Scoobs found a circle check he rested and waited for the real FRBs to do some checking, and we crested a ridge only to have to climb even more steeply up.
I let the FRBs go, and left part of my Big Mac in the middle of the trail for Turkish Delight and Shagless to enjoy. I was on my own, nobody calling ahead, no sounds from behind. I just had to get through this evil hill and conserve energy for what was to come. At the top there was a “six” circle check – the guys had gone as I wasn’t close to the first 6. It would have been nice if they’d kicked it out, but then again there was only one way to go. We started down, and I figured I was quicker than most on the descent and quickly reeled in Scooby – he was busy on his phone, so I ploughed on and joined with Horny Monkey and Alice for a while. Another circle check, and I was back with the FRBs as we came down the hill. This hill was familiar – only this time it was daylight… I had strong memories of taking a nap on the way down some months before when Belly Dancer set an ill-fated run somewhere near there… Today the trail was much clearer and one by one we arrived at the “C” stop. Water! Water! I needed some of that!
Just around the corner my stomach told me I didn’t need as much as I’d taken, and for the second time I vomited. I took it steady, waiting for my stomach to settle down and my legs to recover from the hill, as we made our way along the trail. Dog Shit came to tell us which way to go along the road, which was strange as we were running on a road on shredded paper while just below us there was a nice trail with powder obviously laid on it. Whatever, we got back to the powder and ran along the canal, making our way to a “Wat”. I knew a Wat that was about the right distance away, but it turned out we weren’t going there, we cut left and I was up front with Brown Finger and Jungle Chim as we ran along a great trail through the paddies to the Wat where Dogshit was smiling with the refreshments. We later found that Alice led Dick Tracy and the GM from Chiang Rai to a completely different Wat – they asked for directions rather than just following the paper.
The field had been cut, but we had Brown Finger, Jungle Chim, Immaculate Conception, Bondage, His Royal Anus, Nam Ron, me and then Horny Monkey rejoined us after resting a leg in the Songthaew. This was a sociable section – there wasn’t much of the normal ‘racing’, we just worked as a team and took turns to get it wrong as we squirmed our way across the rice fields. (HRA turned to guarding the circle checks and not looking at the less obvious routes). Finally we emerged on the road to the German Sausages – and at last I would be home! The beer was cold and the sausages would surely soon be ready? Well, ok, no sausages, but an entire pig instead – hog roast and potato salad!
As the beer flowed the memory fades. The legs are weary but at least we got to run some. 
Good Night!